The most dangerous category of people who can drain you mentally and physically are, “TOXIC PEOPLE”. Who are toxic people? Well according to google “A toxic person is anyone whose behavior adds negativity to your life”.
Dr. Lillian Glass introduced the term “toxic people” in her bestseller TOXIC PEOPLE. She identifies toxic relationships as “any relationship between people who don’t support each other, where there’s conflict and one seeks to undermine the other, where there’s competition, where there’s disrespect and a lack of cohesiveness.”
Toxic people can be broadly classified into 6 types:
The energy drainer
They make you feel tense. They put you down for no reason. They drain your energy mentally and physically. They can’t be happy for people’s good fortune.
The fake complimentor
Gives you fake compliments. Lacks empathy. Puts you in an uncomfortable position. Always flatter you on your face and backbites at your back.
Talks down to you to make themselves feel better. Only cares about themselves. Tries to talk to you to demotivate you and drain your energy.
Doesn’t support you in your decisions. Criticizes every move you make. Makes you feel like all the decisions you take are wrong.
- The manipulator
Tries to control you. Manipulates our decision and emotions and leaves us to suffer. Pretends as if they care for you. Are very mean and only think and care about themselves.
- The victim
Blames others for their misfortune. Couldn’t handle their failure and constantly plays the victim cards for attention. Talks mostly about their excuses for failing.
Signs of a Toxic Person
Just like, there are signs you’re around a toxic person because of how the person makes you feel, there are signs seen in the person themselves that highlight their toxicity.
The most common signs include:
Part of being human is having ups and downs, good times, and bad. But a toxic person is almost never consistent. Their behavior is erratic. They don’t follow through on their commitments or promises. You never know what they’re going to do next. Such inconsistency is very hard when you’re trying to be there for someone. They can be elated with you one minute, writing you off the next.
They Always Need Your Attention
Have you noticed that the person always needs something from you? Whether it’s constant phone calls, texts, or showing up at your door, they always need emotional support. And they’re probably not being supportive to you in return. They take all that you have without giving much back. They have a heightened level of self-interest, a need to showcase their own greatness to receive affirmation. This can be associated with a narcissistic personality disorder.
There Is Always Drama
Ever notice how drama seems to follow some people? It’s likely not a coincidence. Toxic people thrive in dramatic situations. They inflame emotions and create conflict. They love stirring the pot to see what happens. People are often toxic because they’re not interested in being stable and healthy in relationships.
They Don’t Respect Your Boundaries
Another sign of a toxic person is no boundaries. If you’ve been clear with someone time and again about your needs, and they just can’t help themselves but to disrespect you, they are toxic. Healthy relationships are based on trust and the ability to respect boundaries. Toxic people just can’t do that.
They Manipulate Others for What They Want
Do you feel taken advantage of? Manipulated? Toxic people love to manipulate those around them to get what they want. This means lying, bending the truth, exaggerating, or leaving out information so that you take a certain action or have a certain opinion of them. They’ll do whatever it takes, even if it means hurting people.
They Abuse Substances
Another toxic behavior is the abuse of substances, like drugs and alcohol. These behaviors become toxic when the person is continually harming other people, not to mention themselves.
Dealing With Toxic People
Now that you know the signs of a toxic person, both in how you feel and how they act, you may not know what to do about it. Here are a few strategies to try:
As soon as you notice toxic behaviors, confront the person. Call them out on any lies or inconsistencies. Tell them you don’t appreciate how they behave. This shows them that you’re paying attention — and you’re giving them a chance to explain themselves or apologize.
Set Stricter Boundaries
If you must have a toxic person in your life, try to set stricter boundaries. For example, if someone is abusing substances and it causes them to harm you or others, let them know you won’t see them unless they’re sober. Make it clear you won’t tolerate their overly dramatic behavior or spreading rumors about people. Limit the time you spend with them until they can change.
Cut Them Out of Your Life
If the above strategies don’t work and cause even more pain, abuse, or dishonesty, it’s time to let the toxic person go. Sometimes there’s nothing to do but stand up for yourself and move on.
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